Faith Quenches The Violence Of Fire

from This Is My Body, This Is My Blood by Samuel Goff

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lyrics

One time when I was about 11 or so, mama pulled me off to the side. It was a Saturday afternoon in the summer and mama said she had to run out. She told me she would be a couple of hours and for me to watch my two younger brothers. Instantly something felt wrong and a knot of anxiety welled up in my stomach giving me a sick feeling. She had never left us alone at home, not even for a second. Daddy had been gone all afternoon, he would usually go counsel folk from the church on Saturday so it was not odd for him to be gone. Mama must have caught wind of something else going on. There was a traveler’s motel at the edge of town, just beyond the creek, close to the highway. This motel was mostly used by traveling miners and hobos who would wander about looking for temporary work. There was also a train that let off right by the holler, so there was never any shortage of stranger about town. Somehow whether through town whisper or other means, Mama heard a rumor and decided to go see for herself. Come to find out later, daddy had been giving counsel, not to church folk, but to his brother’s wife at that traveler’s motel.

That night after the sun had long set deep in the holler mama came crashing through the front door. She looked something horrific. There was blood smeared on her face like a tattoo and blood all over the front of her cotton blue dress. Her hair was wild and unkempt like it had been pulled and was also wet with blood. Her face told a story of confusion, anger and sadness and her tears were mixed with the blood. She didn't say a word and walked past me to my horror. She walked slowly to her and daddy’s bedroom. She got on her knees in front of the bed as if to pray. There was an old family bible on the nightstand. It was one of the only fancy things that we had. The pages were wrinkled with time and much reading. Passages were underlined to study and remember later. She placed the bible in front of her on the bed as if it were an altar. She started ripping pages out of it one by one, and throwing them in the air, crying and cussing God and screaming. This went on for a while as if she was in a trance. Seemingly hundreds of torn pages from the bible, some smeared with blood lay defeated on the floor. I stood in the doorway watching, unable to speak. Finally I opened my mouth and just started to say the same thing over and over to her as if I wasn't talking to her at all but praying. “Please stop mama, please stop. Please stop mama, please stop mama, please stop.” She looked up at me, speaking my mantra, my faux prayer and considered me as I started crying myself. And as if coming out of her bible tearing and god cussing trance she stared at me with her blood caked and tear stained face. Finally she looked at me and said with her ruined voice…….”Son, faith quenches the violence of fire. But tonight I lost my faith. And gave in to violence.”

Nothing was quite the same after that. Mama tried but she never regained her faith. The incident became almost folk tale, whispered amongst the town folk. Word has it mama confronted the two at the motel and a scuffle ensued and mama and her fought. And in the ruckus, mama who was always quite fierce bit one of her fingers completely off and spat it on her. I only talked to mama about the incident one time and the only thing I really remember is her telling me she was picking skin out of her teeth for days afterward. Before I left the town forever, sometimes I would walk past that motel and try to imagine the events of the night and reflect on them. Because it wasn’t so much the violence that I thought of but that it was the end of things. The end of mama’s faith. The end of innocent times. The end of my childhood. In some ways, the end of my family. Maybe even the end of my faith. I still struggle with that….believing. My faith wavers through time like the sea. Sometimes I would go sit by those train tracks and pray to be anywhere but here. Often in my life I would think of mama’s blood and tear stained face looking at me and telling me……”Faith Quenches The Violence Of Fire.” And stare at the occasional train that would go past and wish I could just hop on and leave. Not caring where that train was going. As long as it was going away from this place.

credits

from This Is My Body, This Is My Blood, released April 26, 2024
Samuel Goff - Vocals, Oil Drum, Metal Percussion, Drums, Piano
John Schuller - Bass
Jessika Blanks - Violin

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Cacophonous Revival Recordings Richmond, Virginia

Our aims and goals will be to not be constrained by genre or geography but to have a unifying theme. One of passion, excitement and experimentation in music. We want to release styles as divergent in genre as avant garde, world music, experimental, jazz, noise, metal, hip hop, punk, classical, etc. ... more

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